AuDN4T

Trying to do simple tasks is hard. Especially when you’re just tired all day.

Cycling to the hospital on Tuesday. That was difficult. Then experiencing stomach issues.be that was a terrible idea. Even my water was warm like tea. It was not refreshing whatsoever.

Walking around at the lake for about three hours was a terrible idea as well. That smoke did get to me. Made me feel nauseous. In the evening when I was on my laptop editting photos or working on that slide deck… I had to turn off the A/C because it did get too cold. But having the a/c unit going in the bedroom, this caused this open window to drawn in outside air… So that ended up giving me a headache.

Today, I’m just tired. Have no energy to do anything. I wanted to go to Service Canada but that just flopped with how I was feeling. The coffee didn’t even help. The energy drink didn’t help.

Getting yelled at about trying to utilize police services sucked and just put me in a more shut down mood. It sucks because I do try to take care of AL. But when I need that help, she doesn’t want to be there. There is frustration with everything going on but yelling about it doesn’t help. Working on a plan helps. Trying to solution it. And telling her I need accommodations or body doubling. Like I don’t want to go yell at the frontline workers and that’s why I’ve avoided it. I don’t want to perpetrate that cycle of abuse and anger and make someone feel shitty. And I don’t want to go there and be let down for the millionth time. I don’t want to be on my bike having a meltdown. I don’t want to be in car having a meltdown. And when the government can’t even figure out its own programs and you see how much they make… You realize they really shouldn’t be making that much. They can’t take accountability for their shitshow.

The thing is then you go the route of social workers who have no resources. Police forces have no resources and they experience these traumatic experiences. They burn out because it’s a vicious cycle of caring and not getting anywhere. But we have MPs making $404k/yr wasting $3,500 on flights for their family while average Canadians struggle.

I’m starting to think they need to be brought down to $100k and the rest of that involve is spent on resources properly. Limit how much they travel. No family expenses. Do teams calls. Work on reducing rental prices and home prices. If they truly cared they wouldn’t be in there for the money and wasting it.