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Whoever is reading this. Whatever this all is. This post shouldn’t really be read by anyone, right?!?!

Apparently everyone has some sort of outside joke and I’m in some weird ass place.

I get dysregulated and I become a shitty person that needs to be left. But if my partner gets dysregulated… it’s ok. A door can be punched. A phone can be thrown. The cat can be slapped. That’s fine, right?

It feels like a double standard and I can’t say anything. IDK – EC, you talk to her. Apparently. So go for it. Have that convo because I have no idea what the fuck this is all about and I’m just being gaslit everywhere.

Funny – I can’t even mention a story without being fucking scolded. So I’m supposed to hold things back then? I understand shits scary. But fucking come on. I can have dysregulations. She’s had dysregulations. Mental health isn’t linear where you’re constantly progressing. There are days where shit is terrible.

Like even in therapy it feels like something is off or weird. Even with friends it feels something is forced and not true or genuine. Like I fucking can’t. It feels like everyone is beating around a bush and I have no idea what the fuck it is.

Even with the landlord – dealing with BS.

Dealing with WSIB and Service Canada and TD. Moving money in the TD app and making a mistake and being charged 100$. COME ON?!!!!!!! Are you fucking kidding me? What a fucking scam.

You’re telling me to be optimistic but WHY THE FUCK IS THE WORLD WORKING AGAINST ME?!

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