AuDN4T

Met up with a friend from university today. It’s funny, I initially thought I’d take the TTC, then I flip-flopped and thought maaaaaybe I’ll take the car. Then went back to taking the TTC, and back to taking the car. Went back and forth maybe a couple of times until I decided on the TTC since it would give me more opportunities for photos. I guess it was that trade off on getting a walk in, photos and dealing with noise levels on the TTC and people getting into your personal space.

Interesting to see one guy spread his legs on the seat preventing anyone sitting next to him. Another guy sat next to me but crossed his legs. Seemed more respectful about space.

Getting out of the subway, I ended up taking a walk and get some shots in with the Bloor Viaduct. Interesting to see a phone number up around suicide distress. Again, not sure how effective this is if someone is in crisis. The engineering control of having the metal rods preventing someone is more effective that what the Golden Gate Bridge has. Though there are some areas where someone could bypass the rods on the ends of the bridge. This is just really a bandaid solution because if someone really wants to commit suicide, they’ll look for another way – if it’s not bridge, it’ll be the subway. Goes back to needing to work on figuring out how we can better understand emotional dysregulation, burnout and work to prevent this. I will admit, there are some moments where the ideation still sometimes comes up. Things can feel intense.

Getting to the cafe was a bit intimidating. Not that I was nervous meeting up with my friend but more so trying to find my friend in the crowd or being the first one there. It’s an odd anxiety issue I tend to deal with when entering a room. Not sure if it’s an RSD thing? Or worries about being in a loud space.

But on a positive note, it was quiet this afternoon and it was easy to find her (she was the only one there) so the anxiety definitely decreased when I was able to find her.

Typically in a busy space, I’d end up texting the friend I’m meeting up with checking in to see if they’re already at the restaurant/cafe or not.

The convo was awesome – it felt like I saw her not too long ago. I’ve always enjoyed those conversations with her. Though I was at one point worried I wasn’t asking enough questions – I’m always checking in on myself on that… Am I contributing enough?

It felt like we ended up talking about a lot – mental health, catch up on work and family. Sometimes I’m also just concerned I won’t remember all of the information spoken about because there’s so much bouncing off topics. I was a bit surprised that she remembered that I liked cycling and stand-up paddling.

It’s unfortunate that trying to get a diagnosis in ADHD, it has been impossible for her based on her responses and the DSM-5 criteria and hearing that her husband has gone through burnout from work. How are workplaces really treating people? And WSIB wouldn’t even consider workers comp on this likely because it is a workload issue. But… the employer forced this person to take on a bigger workload. How is this humanly possible? Just force people to be robots until they crap out and tap out? This isn’t something OHIP should pay for, nor should it be something that EI should pay for. This is something the employer should pay for through worker’s compensation because they are causing this – they are the causal factor in this instance.

But also how are employers accommodating invisible disabilities? Or rather, invisible differences? I look at the training provided and it’s not adequate for those with different learning abilities. I know of leaders who try to be accommodating but need more resources on how to get their workers to be more focused. Adult learning is different. Online training that barely scrapes the barrel is barely compliance. It doesn’t make a person competent. Competency requires knowledge, training and experience. If a person doesn’t have that experience (hands-on training); how will they truly know how to perform something? A computer screen training doesn’t train you how to stop a car or parallel park.

I’m feeling bittersweet for my friend – I thought she wanted to get into journalism, but realize how hard it is to get into it. It’s not something I really considered – requiring to be continuously trying to pitch stories. I can’t imagine the anxiety it would cause some who have to think about this and trying to pay for bills. Journalism has changed – comparing it from 2006 to 2026… newspapers have for the most part become obsolete. It’s unfortunate, I liked the old school days when you picked up a newspaper and read it on the train ride home or to school. It sounds like there’s ethical issues around reporting as well which is concerning.

I am happy that she has found a workplace where she can feel like she is contributing to this world. I understand abortion clinics can be a touchy topic with religious people; however, they do have a place in this world. This friend is the most open-minded person I know and that is what I love about her. She tries to understand things (though we once had an argument about transit… but that’s cool lol, no hard feelings, just differing opinions). It does bum me out that she and her partner haven’t been able to increase their income. She’s a very knowledgeable person who can make so many changes in this world. She’s also a very safe person to talk to. I do feel guilty I’ve been able to go on more trips than she has… it’s kind of unfair. People work their butts off, burnout and can’t travel as much… even travel within Canada is stupidly expensive. I love how she can be truly herself without masking on topics that can be seen too sexual in this world. What’s wrong with vagina art? Men tend to draw dick pics. Her art is actual art. It’s a very creative outlet that she can express herself.

Overall, it felt like a healthy conversation around mental health and sharing of experiences. Though I should probably avoid accidentally insinuating that someone is ASD. But we need to start normalizing and accepting neurodivergence and differences (when they are not hurting people or children).