Had my ASD assessment today. Well… part of it, I guess. I also made a joke about hoping that the studying paid off…. and now I’m just questioning all over again if I’m ASD. I be just looping over and over again. Ha.
On a side note, had cereal and oat milk for breakfast. The oat milk had a funky taste to it again (second time now). Definitely had some sort of impact on my stomach. The funny thing is the last time I gave the company feedback, they said there wasn’t anything wrong with the milk. So at this point I think I’ll just stop buying their milk. Something is off with it.
Doesn’t feel like an overly productive day, so just will rest and take ‘er easy.
I’ve never had issues with sleeping (waking up in the middle of the night) until 2023 where I’d wake up randomly at 3 or 4 am which threw me through a loop. I think that’s where the AuDHD burn out started to kick in. During my crisis in 2024, meds definitely helped with sleeping. But it seems that the burn out is impacting my sleep again. Will have to try out some tricks. Maybe get a weighted blanket.
Funny thing is that the couch is a good place to sleep (when typically people think it’s going to be a crappy sleep, it’s not). So when I’m struggling and frustrated, I just end up going to the couch. There was about a month where I just slept on the couch because it just had the right firmness and hug. Never thought a person could be so picky about their sleeping requirements.
The snow fall was a nice treat today. It was awesome seeing all the doggos and their hoomans out. It was nice to see kids having a blast on a snow day.
Definitely tempted to go sledding. Why should it be limited to kids? Adults can tap into their inner child, no?
Speaking of tapping into your inner child, I’ve decided to create a shit posting LinkedIn account to make light of the corporate world, just to show how unserious it can be with its corporate buzzwords. Elevating strategic cadence while being high performing. Does this resonate with anyone?
Blog side note: Still trying to figure out the blog template. The picture sizes aren’t resizing properly on mobile devices.
Wild storm out there and I’m living for it. Took a while to get out there and shoot. Going for a walk was probably out of the question, but getting to that destination by car was the better choice. Glad I’ve got winter tires on. Thought I’d try out taking a road that I treat like a roller coaster. Unfortunately we had other people on the road with no winter tires and they ruined the experience, lol.
On a positive note, it was nice to see people help each other out by pushing their vehicles up the hill. I woulda helped, but I was a bit cold already. Cheered ’em on from the driver seat though.
Saw a lone goose earlier and it kinda bummed me out. I feel ya, my dude. I hope you find your people.
Been an observer for quite some time. Trying to unmask, speak up for myself and be understood gets tricky. How do you not upset people with your thoughts; I guess putting other people’s feelings first but also being authentic to yourself. It’s a weird balance.
Part of it I think is just a differing dialect amongst other people. Going back to the drawing board on how to bring up communication styles or be seen without being dismissed. It just is unfortunate that you bring up the topic and it just gets set aside but I’m expected to listen to info-dumps. There’s no room for my info-dumps or thought-dumps or thought.
Continuing to navigate through thoughts. It’s funny that you end up having conversations with people, realizing how you click with some people during convos and you’re not sure why. But then you have a hard time connecting with other people…. only to learn about ND conversation styles.
What’s interesting is seeing ND people talk in this style and it looks like they’re flirting amongst each other but it’s more so they’re on the same wavelength. Their masks come off and they’re more to the point, blunt and there isn’t much of hurt feelings about difference in opinion. With more “specialized interest” people you learn lots about different topics.
I think about two scenarios where I’ve witnessed colleagues speaking and it full on looked like they’re were flirting. At least one person in that convo was either in a long term relationship or was married. Just they had a good brain pinging session between each other.
What’s more interesting is autistic people tend to want to be more autonomous and rarely bring up their partner/spouse unless they end up being brought up. They might bring up their kids, but it seems like they’re more so kind of like a project they’re working on – sculpting them into good human beings. I think talking about your partner goes into that personal space.
I’ve been struggling with getting back into a good sleeping pattern. Not only are my emotions dysregulated but my sleeping is dysregulated. I’m trying to better understand myself as a ND person^3, trying to take in as much information on neurodivergence as possible. But sometimes I feel like it might be information overload and some information doesn’t stick. Trying to get away from NT social cues but also there’s ND social cues or outside jokes? I mean I get some of it but wha? You think you’re getting out of one way of thinking to another. I get there’s a more easier way to converse but isn’t there a way to just ease an initiation of a AuD baby? lol.
Then there’s the topic of being on the same-ish wavelength in one on one convos. But, then group convos get intimidating, especially as someone who has been an observer in convos for a while, taking in information from others and having a hard time jumping in due to brain processing.
It’s been a while since I’ve had a photoblog. Kinda missed the experience but never really wrote about my thoughts. It was primarily just a photo and a brief title/description. I’m boring as heck in that regard.
I think I’ll give this blogging-my-thoughts-thing a try and maybe push myself to take a photo every day. Might be rough but I’ll try without recycling photos from previous days. That’ll be my goal this year. Use it as a small goal to get outta the house but throw in some creativity while getting a dopamine kick.
BUT the first post will not be from today but from yesterday, so I already failed, lol. Gotta start somewhere.
Not going to lie – it was heckin’ cold at the Beaches that day.
AuDN4T 